February Wrap-Up
Welp, we’re already two days into March, so I’m a little late with my February wrap-up. But I’m going to blame February for being too short.
I’ve been musing about the internet, and virtual relationships, and cults, and black-and-white thinking, and extremism lately. There is so much going on in the world, and we have immediate access to an incredible amount of information that is not always easy to process.
On Survivors Discuss, we just interviewed Nikki G and Janja Lalich about cults and cult recovery, and in our discussion, we talked about how the internet can be a tool for cult recruitment. Just look at how QAnon blew up during the beginning of the pandemic. Or how Twin Flames Universe has recruited so many followers across the country.
The irony is that the internet can also be a place where we find healing and community after leaving high-control groups or abusive situations. I know for me, the internet helped me first understand what “abuse” even meant and that I was experiencing it. The internet gave me access to forums and survivor stories and support groups. So it can be both: a tool for manipulation, or a tool for connection and growth. That’s why it’s important to understand the signs of a cult. Learning about cult tactics can help us recognize when we’re getting involved with a toxic group.
Look out for this episode coming up on our feed, along with an interview with D. L. Mayfield and Amber Cantorna-Wylde about Focus on the Family and authoritarian parenting. I love having these discussions with experts and survivors, as we all move forward in our healing. In dark times, they gave me hope for humanity.
News about Rift
I was thrilled to learn earlier this month that Publishers Weekly has awarded Rift a Starred Review! This is a big deal in publishing world, and it is such an honor to have the book reviewed and featured on their website. You can read the whole review here:
This week I’ve been recording the audiobook myself, and I just want to take moment to thank all the professional audiobook readers—this is hard work! But I have a great producer working with me, who is treating me so kindly and compassionately as I need to pause to take deep breaths between certain memory-filled scenes. Honestly, it has been an empowering experience to read my complete story out loud with my producer listening and witnessing. It makes me feel so much more compassion for my younger self, who really was just trying to survive the world she was growing up in.
The audio will be available online soon, and I’ll be sure to let you know when you can order it. I know many of you are primarily audio readers, and I’m so glad we can bring this format out for you.
By the way, you hopefully received my previous newsletter about joining my launch team, and if you forgot to sign up, there is definitely still time! We are just getting started on our private Facebook group. Click the links below to first preorder the book, and then sign up for the launch team. Once your form gets processed, you will be sent a PDF of the book to read early!
Recommendations
Another former stay-at-home daughter, Ashley Easter, was featured at a TedX conference recently, sharing about her experience in this movement, which we both understand now in the context of cults and high-control groups. I’m so proud of Ashley for getting out, getting help, and now sharing her story with so many! It makes me even more excited for 2024, as more and more stay-at-home daughters and Christian patriarchy survivors are reclaiming their voices. We’re getting this vital information out there because there are still so many trapped in Christian fundamentalism.
Speaking of fundamentalism, have you noticed the #tradwife trend on Instagram and TikTok? It’s all too familiar to me: idealized homemaking, strict gender binary and gender roles, and “traditional family values.” It’s just patriarchy wrapped up pretty in a new terminology.
as well as the Kitchen Table Cult podcast have been covering this topic, which is so important to be clear about. (See previous note about the internet being a tool for cult recruitment.) Being a stay-at-home daughter was being a tradwife in training, and it was definitely not a fun experience. I would take agency and autonomy over submitting to a man every day of the week.This year I’ve shifted to write additional posts for paid subscribers here on Substack, but I will endeavor to have at least one post a month for free subscribers. I’m grateful for each person who takes time to read this, and I’m so glad you’re here. My monthly wrap-ups will be free, and I’ll be sure to keep sharing resources and links this way. Forwarding this monthly newsletter to others is a great way to share with those who might need to feel less alone in recovery from abuse.
Paid posts this month:
Thank you, as always, for being here!
— Cait